I asked my client what his top three values were. He said: “Work and family.”
Eyebrows raised, I waited for the third. It didn’t come.
He said, “That’s it. That’s my life. Work and family. Right now, in that order. I live in a constant state of guilt. When I’m at work, I feel like I should be at home. When I’m reading my daughter a bed-time story, my mind is on the work piled up that will take me to midnight. I feel like 10% of my life is actually mine.”
Tears welled up.
He was playing a high stakes game. If he didn’t deliver at work, there wouldn’t be a job. No job, no money, and that puts family life at risk. And the more time he spent at work, the less time he spent with family, the more unhappy his wife became. High stakes indeed: job and marriage on the line.
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Read MoreDamn. My mind kept spinning through the task list, conversations with clients, and what I needed to pack for the trip. Some meditation! It was more like a mental washing machine on spin cycle.
But that is the experience of meditation. Show up, do the work, and just be ok with whatever happens. Sometimes its blissful, often times not.
The same is true of leadership. It is a daily practice, not an end goal. When we show up every day in practice, we add depth, breadth, and richness to our work as leaders.
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Read More"How do I recognise ‘blokey’ behaviour and what do I do about it in the culture?”
I love this question from a male CEO who wants to create an inclusive, welcoming culture.
It’s great because it acknowledges blind spots and seeks to troubleshoot them. I find this often: male leaders want to be better leaders, and they are sometimes shocked to discover that their behaviour, or that of their team, is not always representative of what they want to create and experience.
So what is ‘blokey’ behaviour, why does it occur, and what should we do about it, if anything?
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Read More“Hold her under so she doesn’t get up.” Thank you Caro, Eddie McGuire and Sam Newman for this thoughtless repartee.
Regardless of gender, this kind of aggressive sledging is not funny. It speaks to everything that is not pretty or decent in some men’s leadership.
Male leadership is struggling, and has been for several decades. Men and their relationship to women, especially in the workplace, has often been uneasy.
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Read MoreBrexit, Pauline Hanson, Rise Up Australia. Hatred and rejection are alive and well in the world and politics. I was disturbed by the number of candidates and political parties in the Australian election whose platform centered around exclusion. There is so much hate and fear in the political discourse! I found myself getting angry with the candidates, and with the supporters who spruiked the same hateful vitriol.
Here’s the thing.
We echo what we judge...
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Read More"There is still a culture of blokey-ness in leadership. You’ve got to be tough. You’re seen as successful if you’re too busy to listen. When we had a re-structure and had to let some people go, we were told to just soldier on – it’s just part of business. You’re seen as effeminate if you show you care.”
I met with a reader last week to talk about his observations of men and leadership. He works with great female leaders in an organisation with men filling most of the top senior positions...
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