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You know how it goes. Someone said or did something that has got you annoyed. Or upset. Or angry. Or bitter.
There’s great opportunity here, if we handle the feedback delivery well. The opportunity is to clear frustrations, clarify expectations, or mend relationships.
Many leaders miss the opportunity with the following feedback mistakes.
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Read MoreGetting people to do things as a leader is trickier than most of us imagine. It’s not simply a question of telling people what to do and considering it done. The days of one-way leadership are gone in this age of hyper-connectivity. People don’t work for us, they work with us.
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Read MoreLearning to experience and express feelings without being carried away by them is a missing critical leadership skill - the skill of being REAL.
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Read MoreMost leaders reading those statistics think they are the exception. That their team is somehow better than the rest. After all, you’re the leader, you’re smart, and you put a lot of effort in to your work. You and your team are different, and there’s no way you’ll be one of those toxic places.
Here are the top 3 delusions leaders have when it comes to their team:
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Read MoreI have a google alert that notifies me of any news article that mentions ‘speaking up’. I get at least two articles per day that mention the obstacles, consequences, and the outcomes of speaking up. This is usually against an injustice. From afar, we give a head nod to those who put themselves in the crossfire for a higher cause. We deem them noble and brave.
And we like to think we would do the same.
But would we?
Here are some common reasons clients have told me about why they don’t speak up:
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Read MoreThere are some beautiful amazing people on the planet sharing glorious insights that can help us expand as leaders. Here are a few of them:
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Read MoreI’ve worked in three not for profit organisations over the last thirty years. My experience was the same across all of them: there was never enough. Never enough money. Never enough staff. Never enough time.
As I work now with corporate organisations, I’ve found the litany of ‘never enough’ is as pervasive there as in the not for profit sector. The more we have, the more we want, the less we feel capable of delivering.
The practice of Plenty is NOT an exercise in denial. It is the practice of shaping a better reality.
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Read MoreI asked my client what his top three values were. He said: “Work and family.”
Eyebrows raised, I waited for the third. It didn’t come.
He said, “That’s it. That’s my life. Work and family. Right now, in that order. I live in a constant state of guilt. When I’m at work, I feel like I should be at home. When I’m reading my daughter a bed-time story, my mind is on the work piled up that will take me to midnight. I feel like 10% of my life is actually mine.”
Tears welled up.
He was playing a high stakes game. If he didn’t deliver at work, there wouldn’t be a job. No job, no money, and that puts family life at risk. And the more time he spent at work, the less time he spent with family, the more unhappy his wife became. High stakes indeed: job and marriage on the line.
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Read MoreDamn. My mind kept spinning through the task list, conversations with clients, and what I needed to pack for the trip. Some meditation! It was more like a mental washing machine on spin cycle.
But that is the experience of meditation. Show up, do the work, and just be ok with whatever happens. Sometimes its blissful, often times not.
The same is true of leadership. It is a daily practice, not an end goal. When we show up every day in practice, we add depth, breadth, and richness to our work as leaders.
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Read More"How do I recognise ‘blokey’ behaviour and what do I do about it in the culture?”
I love this question from a male CEO who wants to create an inclusive, welcoming culture.
It’s great because it acknowledges blind spots and seeks to troubleshoot them. I find this often: male leaders want to be better leaders, and they are sometimes shocked to discover that their behaviour, or that of their team, is not always representative of what they want to create and experience.
So what is ‘blokey’ behaviour, why does it occur, and what should we do about it, if anything?
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Read More“Hold her under so she doesn’t get up.” Thank you Caro, Eddie McGuire and Sam Newman for this thoughtless repartee.
Regardless of gender, this kind of aggressive sledging is not funny. It speaks to everything that is not pretty or decent in some men’s leadership.
Male leadership is struggling, and has been for several decades. Men and their relationship to women, especially in the workplace, has often been uneasy.
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Read MoreBrexit, Pauline Hanson, Rise Up Australia. Hatred and rejection are alive and well in the world and politics. I was disturbed by the number of candidates and political parties in the Australian election whose platform centered around exclusion. There is so much hate and fear in the political discourse! I found myself getting angry with the candidates, and with the supporters who spruiked the same hateful vitriol.
Here’s the thing.
We echo what we judge...
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Read More"There is still a culture of blokey-ness in leadership. You’ve got to be tough. You’re seen as successful if you’re too busy to listen. When we had a re-structure and had to let some people go, we were told to just soldier on – it’s just part of business. You’re seen as effeminate if you show you care.”
I met with a reader last week to talk about his observations of men and leadership. He works with great female leaders in an organisation with men filling most of the top senior positions...
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