I asked my client what his top three values were. He said: “Work and family.”

Eyebrows raised, I waited for the third. It didn’t come.

He said, “That’s it. That’s my life. Work and family. Right now, in that order. I live in a constant state of guilt. When I’m at work, I feel like I should be at home. When I’m reading my daughter a bed-time story, my mind is on the work piled up that will take me to midnight. I feel like 10% of my life is actually mine.”

Tears welled up.

He was playing a high stakes game. If he didn’t deliver at work, there wouldn’t be a job. No job, no money, and that puts family life at risk. And the more time he spent at work, the less time he spent with family, the more unhappy his wife became. High stakes indeed: job and marriage on the line.

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